In my profession, I work as a project Manager and Quality Assurance. As part of this role, I teach root cause analysis, risk assessment, and technical writing for investigations.

The training I am most known for is the one where we spend 30 minutes targeting the RIGHT question. This is the first step in a series where we look at the rest of investigations and corrective actions.

There are a few things I can confidently say I specialize in and excel at more than most people, but this is one.

So many people investigate and solve the WRONG problem and are confused when the identified corrective actions don’t stop the problem in its tracks.

As parents, shuffling through daily life, we often find ourselves bombarded with questions about whether they’re doing enough, if our child is on the right track, or if we should conform to others’ standards. But perhaps it’s time to pause and reconsider our priorities.

Instead of fixating on these seemingly endless inquiries, let’s redirect our attention to more meaningful and valuable questions.

1. “What is the most valuable lesson my child can learn this year?”

Rather than obsessing over arbitrary benchmark, focus on what truly matters: the lessons that will shape our children into resilient, compassionate, and empathetic individuals. Whether it’s resilience in the face of adversity, empathy towards others, or the importance of perseverance, identifying these core lessons can guide our parenting journey with purpose.

This may be setting priorities early in the year to dive deep on interests or allow for mental health days. To prioritize all forms of intelligence.

2. “How can I nurture my child’s unique strengths and interests?”

Every child is different, with their own set of talents, passions, and quirks. Instead of trying to mold them into a predetermined mold, let’s celebrate their individuality and empower them to explore their interests fully. By fostering a supportive environment that encourages curiosity and creativity, we can help our children flourish in their own unique ways.

Spending time trying to fight your child’s talents rather than highlighting and growing shows that you need to reevaluate this question. It may be as simple as, adjusting the books used in ELA or allowing your student to use a computer rather than solving their handwriting dilemma.

3. “What moments can I cherish with my child today?”

In the hustle and bustle of modern life, it’s easy to overlook the simple joys and precious moments that make parenthood truly special. By intentionally seeking out opportunities to connect with our children, whether it’s through shared activities, meaningful conversations, or quiet moments of togetherness, we can create lasting memories that transcend the fleeting pressures of daily life.

Dad Chats uses the phrase, “what do you want to talk about?” We use some form of,”what made you laugh/sigh/angry today?” Then we spring board the discussion over dinner and evening chores. Both conversational construct questions serve the purpose of keeping the door open as our children grow into independent adults.

4. “How can I model the values and behaviors I want to instill in my child?”

Children learn by example, and as parents, we play a pivotal role in shaping their attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors. By embodying the values we wish to impart—such as kindness, integrity, and resilience—we can lead by example and provide our children with a strong foundation for navigating the complexities of the world with grace and integrity.

It is the old adage that actions speak louder than words. One example of this is how household chores are shared in our family. My husband and I both contribute to cooking and cleaning, splitting the tasks roughly equally.

While I find the routine of waking up to a clean home calming, my husband doesn’t prioritize it as much. However, every night he joins in with enthusiasm, helping with chores like cleaning the turtle tank or assisting the boys with trash. Why does he do it? Because it’s important for all of us to work together towards our family goals. Even the ones we didn’t set.

On team. One dream.

5. “Am I prioritizing my child’s well-being and happiness above all else?”

In our quest for academic achievement, extracurricular success, and societal validation, it’s easy to lose sight of what truly matters: our children’s happiness and well-being.

Reflecting on whether our actions and decisions are driven by genuine concern for our children’s happiness and fulfillment, rather than external pressures or expectations.

By asking these more valuable questions, we can shift our focus from the superficial to the substantive, from the fleeting to the enduring, and ultimately, from the pursuit of perfection to the cultivation of genuine growth and fulfillment for our children and ourselves.

As I mentioned earlier, asking the right question initially to address the root cause of concerns, disconnect, and focus is far more critical than simply making corrections.